2007-02-14 - 4:13 p.m.
This was followed by a mere 5 seconds of absolute silence until both children realized that it was the end of the world and began screaming to warn us.
"There, there. Mommy and Daddy are here."
We sat around for a few minutes trying to get used to our sudden state of Amish-ness - but not before fumbling for flashlights and matches. I navigated my way around the house by the display screen of my XM radio unit, which fortunately had some battery juice in it.
The looming sound of cracking ice and branches outside began to make me nervous. Within our front yard lives a 60-foot oak tree. The ice was getting heavy on its branches and several smaller limbs already littered the ground. If something huge was coming down, our house was right in the way.
Suddenly the sound that you hear just before a lumberjack yells, "Tiiimmmmbbeeeeerrrrrrr." took place. With that came the enormous bang on the roof. Pictures dislocated from the walls, and a frantic hyperventillating Mother began screaming. To heck with remaining calm for the sake of her children.
For safety reasons we rushed everyone into the back bedroom where we would be less likely to be bludgeoned by icy branches, shards of broken glass, metal and insulation.
After just 5 minutes William decided that we needed to pack up our worldly belongings and head off down the street to Country Inn & Suites. He promptly made reservations. After all, it was certain that if we stayed here, we'd spend the entire night preventing one another from falling asleep lest we slip into a hypothermic coma. Or our tree would kill us.
After a few seconds of envisioning packing up all my shower supplies (bath gel, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, razor, exfoliator, loofah, shower brush, lotion, body spray, deodorant, toner, moisturizer, leave-in conditioner/detangler, hair serum, hair gel, blow dryer, hair brush 1, hair brush 2, finishing shine, finishing spray, contact case, saline solution, eye firming creme, toothbrush, toothpaste, mouth wash, dental floss), my husbands shower supplies (soap) my kids supplies (diapers, diaper rash ointment, bath gel, lotion, pacifiers, security blankets, vaporizers, sippy cups) not to mention pajamas for everyone (except buff sleeping husband), change of clothes for tomorrow for everyone, socks, shoes, coats, mittens, scarves, adequate entertainment (DVD player, DVDs, laptop, toys), port-a-crib, stroller, vitamins, and medicines - - I decided that maybe we were jumping the gun on the whole hotel idea. I didn't care if Jack Frost began gnawing at my nose or if I had a tree branch piercing through my liver. I was not about to go through all of that "hem-haw" "rigga-ma-roll" (vintage slang) at that hour. It was certain that the warm glow of electricity would mock us from the windows just as we were pulling out of the driveway with our Es-Cargo firmly secured to our car roof.
We then canceled the hotel reservations and made arrangements to obtain a generator that we were going to rig a couple of space heaters up to. Extension cords were arranged throughout the house to prepare for its impending arrival, and the children were finally snuggled up under their respective covers sound asleep.
After William was about to walk out the door to go meet our dear, formerly sleeping friend Larry who went through great lengths to round up the generator, gather more extension cords, and obtain cans of gasoline: * BZZZZZZZT... (the sound of thirsty electrical wiring guzzling a tantalizing flow of good old fashioned electricity).*
LIGHTS! LOUD RADIOS! LOUD TVS! THE HUM OF THE REFRIGERATOR AND THE WHIR OF THE FURNACE!
We high fived each other, took off our bonnets, brimmed black hats, stick on beards and began doing the Electric Slide throughout the kitchen in celebration of our resurgence of power. All was well that ended well.
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