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2006-11-29 - 2:41 p.m. FREAKING "BREAKING NEWS" NEEEEEEEDS TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course the only day I've been given the opportunity to catch up on All My Children, I might as well have just watched the news, rewound it, watched it again, rewound it, watched it again, rewound it, watched it again, etc.
"How many times have I been there for you? Remember after the accident? After your amnesia? I made sure that no one knew you'd switched the babies. Adam will never kn..." "We interrupt now with BREAKING NEWS on the Norwood bomb scare. HazMat crews are on the scene are on the scene and now suiting up to possibly disarm the device. Businesses within 300 feet of the area are still being evacuated, including the retailers at Rookwood Commons. We go live now to Bill Price." "Hi Tonya. Just 15 seconds ago Lt. Tom Williams with the Norwood police department says he doesn't believe the situation will end anytime soon. Road closures are still in effect on the Norwood Lateral and I-71 at the Smith-Edwards exit. I-71 is expected to be shut down for at least a few more hours. WCPO.com will post an update on the highway reopening time when we have more specific information." "Thanks Bill. So as it stands the highway at Norwood Lateral and I-71 a the Smith-Edwards exit are still currently closed." "That's right, Tonya. And Lt. Tom Williams says that the doesn't believe the situation will end any time soon." "Again, I-71 at the Smith Edwards exit is closed in both directions. Lt. Tom Williams does not expect that the roads will be opening any time soon. It's advised to stay away from the already high congested, not to mention DANGEROUS area. Reporting live on the scene, this is Channel 9 news, keeping you up to the minute, EVERY minute on the latest and breaking news." "... You have no choice. The DNA tests are back and Emma is not your baby. You've deceived the town of Pine Valley. How could y..." "We're live on the scene of the Norwood bomb scare with BREAKING NEWS. Norwood and Cincinnati police officers remain on the scene this noon investigating the bomb-like device found near I-71. The device was found by an ODOT crew member near trees on the side of the highway around 9:30 a.m. or so. Since then, I-71 has been blocked and all side roads have been congested with motorists. Officials have set up a command post at Williams Avenue and Edwards Road. Live now with Bill Price on the scene." "Hi Tonya. While first thought to be a gas can of some sort, officials believe the device is actually a cannister or smaller motor oil can. Some businesses at Rookwood Commons remain evacuated until officials are able to advise how dangerous the contents of the device are. "Thanks Bill. What is going on there on the scene now?" "Well Tonya, bomb-sniffing dogs and X-ray machines have been brought to the scene as part of a "render safe procedure," according to Michael Brooks, a Special Agent with the FBI. Officials are saying it's best for all unnecessary traffic to still avoid the area." "So the highway is still closed then." "That is correct Tonya." "Thanks Bill. Reporting live on the scene, this is Channel 9 news, keeping you up to the minute, EVERY minute on the latest and breaking news. We now bring you back to regularly scheduled programming." "Babe was the one who slept with Josh. You can't blame this on me. The only reason JR found out was because of Hayworth. You tried to kill JR and wound up almos..."
"That's right Tonya. A very dangerous situation that has been brought under control, but yes, a bit of an inconvenience for the motorists out there." "Let's take another quick look at artemis to see that traffic is still stopped. There's going to be a lot of traffic not only right now, but as the day progresses as well. This is because I-71 is shut down in both directions. Do they anticipate when this roadway will be reopened, Bill?" "No, Tonya they do not." "Thanks Bill. Reporting live on the scene, this is Channel 9 news, keeping you up to the minute, EVERY minute on the latest and breaking news. We now bring you back to regularly scheduled programming." "The man you've been visiting in the hospital is not your son. It's Zach Slater. He's alive." "Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Hi Tonya. Police Officer Tim Brown has just told us that businesses close to the exit where the device was found, including Gold's Gym, have been evacuated. The bomb squad is on its way, 9News has been told. Department of Transportation workers apparently found the device and notified police." "Thanks Bill. And of course the traffic is still stopped. You can see here on the artemis that traffic is stopped in both directions. There are several alternate routes that motorists are being urged to take. Reporting live on the scene, this is Channel 9 news, keeping you up to the minute, EVERY minute on the latest and breaking news. We now bring you back to regularly scheduled programming." "And now scenes for the next All My Children."
Seriously. Why not just CANCEL the whole show all together??? What was the point of airing all of about 5 combined minutes of All My Children? All that does is piss off the viewer and remind them that they're missing the show they sat down to watch. And then of course any time anything else happens throughout the day, no matter how seemingly insignificant, they're airing it. Those reporters are so edgy from all of this electrifying breaking news that they don't even think before pulling the trigger anymore. Poooor Mrs. Schmitzer.
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