2004-08-12 - 9:22 p.m.

Ferryland

I was on my way home when a stupid Toyota Camry suddenly slowed to a stop in the middle of the road. Having to slow down myself, I finally veered around him with sarcastic acceleration of my engine. Of course the traffic light ahead turned yellow and then red. I sat there watching in my rear view mirror as the indecisive driver of the Toyota Camry applied his left turn signal, drove 2 feet, then applied his right turn signal; cut over 3 lanes without any mind to anything or anyone around him. He pulled into the gas station with what I can guess was advertising the cheaper of the two gas prices. "Stupid," I muttered out loud, "Now I have to sit at this damned light so you can save 15 cents." The light turned green and I winded my way down the hill to the ferry, which OF COURSE was pulling away from the dock with no cars on it!!! If I didn't get that damn red light on account of the half wit Camry driver, I would have been on the ferry and home 20 minutes earlier. I was nearly tempted to turn around and drive the extra 15 miles to the nearest bridge. At least I would be doing something instead of sitting there mindlessly staring at the ferry getting smaller and smaller as it slowly coasted its way to the other side of the river. I watched across the waters as a single pair of headlights eventually dawdled its way onto the deck of the ferry. The red and green lights of the ferry reflected into the water as it made its way back over to my side of the river. I anxiously tapped my fingers on the steering wheel until they hurt. Exit the single car off of the ferry, enter me. I politely suggested to the toll taker that he mention to the driver of the ferry that perhaps he might wait a few seconds for at least one car to arrive, as it seemed kind of SILLY to make a whole trip all the way across the river without any 'CARgo'. As if that were going to change the entire operation of the Anderson Ferry. They could have cared a less. They don't OWN the thing - they only drive it and collect small portions of peoples' life savings on account of the scarcity of bridges in the area. I'm sure they get some sort of sick pleasure at pulling away just as a car comes furiously flying down the ramp. It's like pulling the chair away from someone who is about to sit in it and laughing hysterically as they crash to the floor. After the brief interlude I caught a glimpse of an approaching barge out of the corner of my eye. Did I expect anything else? So there we sat for 10 minutes while the 800 foot barge creeped by. "Why didn't I just turn around when I had the chance!?!" I definitely would have been home by now and three dollars richer. Now maybe the ferry's engine will lose power and we'll spin aimlessly down the river for hours before slamming into a bridge and sinking. At the rate things were going, this would have come as no surprise. I would have been submerged into the polluted water without any expression on my face what so ever because it had all been expected.

Needless to say, none of that happened and I made the rest of the way to my house. Part of me wanted to see standstill traffic on the interstate. Everyone held up on account of a fiery accident a few miles ahead. It could have been me, but for the fact that I was held up on the ferry for 40 minutes!! It's a miracle of God that I'm even alive. But that wasn't the case. There was no fiery accident, not even a broken down car on the side of the road. Just me and a couple of fading red tail lights many miles ahead.

Finally I was home, but what did I need to get home in such a hurry for? There was nothing pressing or urgent that needed attending to. But at least I was home? So I sat down at the computer and routinely turned on the streaming radio. I began another sketch for the children's book I'm illustrating. As soon as the sketch was complete and I began inking it, a fresh cold bottle of Gatorade, minus two sips, toppled over on the computer desk. It violently surged across the entire desk, obliterating my sketch. It cascaded onto the keyboard, my daily planner and the calculater then slowed into a few unrelenting trickles that made their way to the floor into a big sneering yellow puddle. "Ha, ha..." it scorned. Down on my hands and knees in the middle of this cold puddle, I yanked the keyboard cord from the back of the computer and threw the black sticky mess of keys into the kitchen sink, along with the dripping mouse pad. It's a good thing that this EXACT same thing happened yesterday also, so I knew exactly what to do. Over a course of three years, while sitting at the computer, I've enjoyed coffee, tea, water, cranberry juice, Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Sierra Mist, Sprite, beer, Smirnoff Ice, chocolate milk, grapefruit juice, orange juice, apple juice, grape juice and yes, even Gatorade without event.

My silent husband was in the kitchen wiping a damp towel over the keyboard and running the faucet over the mousepad. His feelings were obviously hurt after the stream of profanities that I struck him with. He was the one who knocked over the Gatorade tonight... AND yesterday. It was an accident both times. I think I know more than anyone how badly it stings when you screw up, somebody notices and makes you feel like shit about it. The reaction is almost worse than the "crime". I quickly apologized to him while hastily tearing wads of paper towel off of the shrinking roll, but the damage was already done. He quietly got ready for bed, wished me a good night and said not to stay up too late. I love him and he didn't deserve my reaction. At least I said I was sorry. The aroma of sweetened carpet arrived at my olfactory receptor and I kicked the wall.

the past - the future

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